This Sunday is Father’s Day. I want to share my father’s day story. I tried
to write it sooner, but each time the memories would bring me to tears. This time I will push through it and be brave.
Here we go. I am the youngest of (6) kids. I grew up living mostly with my mom
and dad, because my family was separated for the first nine years of my life.
(My siblings lived in Mexico with relatives.) My main caregiver was my dad due
to my mother being ill; therefore I was closer to my dad than anyone else. If I needed compassion or advice I would go to
him. My dad was the calmer of the two
parents. He was the one that would take
me to kindergarten and talk to the teacher about my progress. My most fond
memory is when he would take me to McDonald’s for a happy meal as a fun thing
to do. It was usually right before we both went
grocery shopping at the Grand Central Market in Los Angeles. He and I were
responsible for groceries. At home we
would watch re-runs of The Lawrence Welk Show and Bruce Lee. Dad loved to listen to a good piece of
orchestra music. He once told me that as a young man he had wanted to play in a
band. He did not say much more about
that subject again. It made him sad to
talk about his love of music. (I would have to guess it ended, because of his
arranged marriage to my mom.) What I remember the most from my childhood is
that dad loved to help people. He would help relatives and friends find work.
Sometimes he would have friends living with us to help them out through hard
times. Through helping others he became very social in Los Angeles and had lots
of contacts. It was interesting to watch my dad connect people with work and a
place to live. My dad was a good man.
Yes, he made lots of mistakes with his family and throughout the years he paid
for them. My dad was very much human and
compassionate. I will save you the horrible details of his last years and fast
forward to the last moments of his life. He had been suffering for years of different
complications and was on one kidney, when he suffered a heart attack. He had been
in the hospital before and each time he had pulled through. It was right before
Easter when he got hospitalized. I
thought he would be alright, like all the times he had been in the hospital. The last conversation I had with him, I
promised him a family dinner for Easter. I told him not to worry that he would
be home by that time. He had to get better, so he could get to know my
boyfriend. But days turned into weeks and dad fell into a comma and I never got
to talk to him again. It was a Friday when the Doctor’s asked my family to let
him go and take him off life support. To avoid any further suffering dad was
taken off life support. There was a good chance he would fight and get better, so I
thought. I spent the following (2) nights at the hospital by his side. My boyfriend was right
next to me the whole time. Sunday came and I thought my dad was going to make
it, because he looked better. I felt confident that he would wake-up, so I left
for a few hours. It was my boyfriend’s birthday and his family was waiting for
him to celebrate his big day. He wanted to introduce me to them for the first
time on his birthday. It was a special day for him and his family had been planning
for this day. Thinking my dad would escape death, I left. I got a call while at the birthday celebration
to return to the hospital immediately. I
rushed back to see my dad just laying on the bed peaceful, not struggling to breathe
anymore. I picked him up and hugged his lifeless body. I wanted him back. I
thought my love could bring him back. I needed him. My family had to pull me away from him. They
kept saying, “He is gone”. It was the
most painful day of my life. It took me years to realize the great significance
of my dad passing on that specific day. I
believe that my dad passed on my husband’s birthday, as a sign that he would be
looking after me even after death. Tim
the boyfriend is now my husband and the father of my two handsome boys. Tim is
a great husband and father. My dad would have loved Tim and my boys. It has
been a long time, over 15 years and I still miss my dad. If I had him one last
time, I would tell him, " I love you to the moon and back and then some more,
dad!”
Happy Father's Day!
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